Finish-This Friday: Conversations with Things

This writing exercise was found on the Writing Exercises website. They have a lot of other prompts and some random generators, so go check it out!

Anyway, here’s the prompt:

Let’s begin!

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This has got to be the worst day ever. No, the worst year ever. Ever since I came to this house I have been over worked, under cleaned, and have had more food inside me than I care to admit. I knew that being a microwave would be hard work, but I never imagined that I would belong to such careless and unsanitary people. At least I can see out the kitchen window. That’s a small comfort.

Speaking of careless people, here she comes again. I wonder what kind of food she’ll want me to heat up for her this time? Does she even realize how much radiation I put out? It’s a wonder she hasn’t come down with something.

“All right, Microwave. Time to heat up some lunch.”

“Leftovers again? That’s the third time this week! Don’t you have friends or someone that you can go have lunch with?”

“Eh, not really. Besides, my food is delicious. Now, open up.”

*muffled garbles…* “not really that great. Your chili is full of peppers, your spaghetti is full of oregano, and what even is this soupy stuff that you’ve put in me?”

“It’s cream of mushroom with rice and seasoning. Just heat it for two minutes, please.”

“Sure, whatever. Hey, how about you clean me today? It’s been over a month since I’ve been properly cleaned.”

“I can’t today. Besides, you’re not that dirty.”

“Really? I have butter all over the inside from when you made that cake yesterday, food bits from every meal you’ve ever heated in me, and don’t even get me started on the outside.”

“Fine! I’ll wipe you out today. Just give me my lunch, please.”

“Here. I hope you enjoy your radiation-laced soup.”

“You know, I can always replace you. You are such a drama queen!”

Finally, she’s taking her lunch and walking away. I doubt she’ll remember her promise to clean me out, and I’ll probably end up breaking eventually. It’ll serve her right, and I take pity on the next microwave she buys!!

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I never knew my microwave was such a drama-prone appliance!  What household object would you choose? Let me know in the comments below!